Wow, can you believe it. It's almost been a month since I last posted. I'm really ashamed of myself at the moment because I told myself I'd be more intense and verbal putting down my feelings and using my words so that I can still keep my intellectual alive inside myself. Well, I'm not ready to give up yet. Even without any readers at the moment I'll still continue faithfully on.
The last couple of weeks have been hard financially, well...not hard, just bare-bones. Last month we were a bit free with our money and thus this month has been quite tight. But we've done pretty well but I can't wait till russ' payday tomorrow and mine on wednesday. I'm also looking forward to a 3 day weekend. I definitely deserve it since I haven't had an off day since last tuesday and wednesday and that wasn't enjoyable due to that nasty bug I caught those days. Not how I would like to have spent my days.
Russ' back has been really hurting the last couple of days and he hasn't been to work either. I really doubt he'll be going tomorrow but I sure hope he does because I need him to pick up his check. ; ; We need the money.
I haven't been to the gym since my sickness last week. I really need to step up and just make myself go at odd times. During peak season at work I always was 7am-4pm and would be out of the gym by 6ish. Now during these slow times I have all these mid-shifts till 630pm and I hate getting out of the gym so late. I was hoping it was a fluke and my schedule would go back to normal so I wouldn't have to be out so late... but it is looking like it's of no hope. I'm gonna have to suck it up. It's not a bad sacrifice. I'm helping my body look the best it possibly can and making myself feel all too much better. I guess it's just the anticipation of having a good home night with my beau. The odds are the earlier i get home, the more energy the beau has and the more likely we are to do something enjoyable.
It's a slight chance but it's payed off before and I'm all too happy to give in when he wishes to partake. But all too often we don't do anything and my anticipation turns out for not. (and find myself wishing I'd went to the gym anyway)
Well, , my sickness is over and starting Monday I'm back full-force.
Also, I finally wrote a letter into Brent Corrigan's site explaining how much I adore the boy. Hopefully it all works out for the best. I was so excited later to click on the Subscribe link to his site I have all-to-often clicked into nothingness to find the service working! I am SOOOO excited. Once Russ puts in his check you can bet i'm subscribing. Goodbye Paltalk, HELLO Brent Corrigan! The boy is just an intelligent, beautiful young man and I will support him all i can.
Friday, February 23, 2007
Friday, January 26, 2007
Pizza Boy Found
After Russ came home we decided to go out to eat at one of our favorite italian places. I had veal for the first time and wasn't really impressed with the flavor so I don't think i'll be ordering it again any time soon.
On the way home Russ asked if there was anything else that I wanted to do, I couldn't think of anything but he decided he wanted to pay a visit to a friend of ours at his workplace.
While living at our old place we had a friend in need staying with us (Jack) dealing with substance abuse and such. This friend had a coworker that he hung out with quite a bit (Danny) and was awesomely super hot, not to mention a very polite and cordial guy...only flaw is that he was straight.
Well he and our bud had a falling out, Jack moved and ended up going back to rehab and we really didn't get to see much more of Danny after that.
Well, this friend still had some of Russ' movies and Russ decided to pay a visit to his place of work. We dropped by and he was still there, by luck. We had a pretty good conversation. He's still hot as hell and doing his thing. We left him Russ' number and our address. He said he'd drop by soon with the movies and such. It was REALLY good to see him though. He is a good guy and I'm sad that we lost touch
Just finished watching the first Hawaii episode of "Top Chef" and am sooo sad that BOTH Elia and Sam were cut this round. I was hoping at least one of them would make it to the finals...but I have to deal with Marcel and Ilan. Not sure if I'll have any heart in this finale but I guess i'll be rooting for Marcel. He's kinda cute in an odd sorta way, and I believe in him a whole lot more than what Ilan presents.
Either way I'm not really excited about the finale. Bring on Amazing Race: All Stars and Survivor: Fiji.
On the way home Russ asked if there was anything else that I wanted to do, I couldn't think of anything but he decided he wanted to pay a visit to a friend of ours at his workplace.
While living at our old place we had a friend in need staying with us (Jack) dealing with substance abuse and such. This friend had a coworker that he hung out with quite a bit (Danny) and was awesomely super hot, not to mention a very polite and cordial guy...only flaw is that he was straight.
Well he and our bud had a falling out, Jack moved and ended up going back to rehab and we really didn't get to see much more of Danny after that.
Well, this friend still had some of Russ' movies and Russ decided to pay a visit to his place of work. We dropped by and he was still there, by luck. We had a pretty good conversation. He's still hot as hell and doing his thing. We left him Russ' number and our address. He said he'd drop by soon with the movies and such. It was REALLY good to see him though. He is a good guy and I'm sad that we lost touch
Just finished watching the first Hawaii episode of "Top Chef" and am sooo sad that BOTH Elia and Sam were cut this round. I was hoping at least one of them would make it to the finals...but I have to deal with Marcel and Ilan. Not sure if I'll have any heart in this finale but I guess i'll be rooting for Marcel. He's kinda cute in an odd sorta way, and I believe in him a whole lot more than what Ilan presents.
Either way I'm not really excited about the finale. Bring on Amazing Race: All Stars and Survivor: Fiji.
Death of an IPod
I just went to transfer my first load of laundry over to the dryer and it's a sad sad day for me. While pulling items to the other machine I kept hearing this odd clanking and passed it off as the buttons from a pair of my pants hitting the metal on the side. Wasn't even close.
I began to pull a towel out and my heart just sank. My Ipod shuffle was dangling at the end, headphones tangled around a corner. The power light doesn't work, doesn't play and the computer doesn't even register it anymore. It's absolutely dead.
That's been my only source of music and entertainment on the road since the radio from my vehicle had gotten stolen, and was the very first item I had gotten for myself since I'd began working that second job last August.
I couldn't help but to tear up just a little. I'm not sure how to tell Russ and not feel more stupid than I do now. Apparently, when I changed to shower at the gym yesterday I put it in my shorts pocket instead of my bag like I usually do. I knew I should've checked my pockets. *sigh* Lesson learned.
Rest in peace my Ipod.
Out of Nowhere
Yesterday morning was kinda surreal. You see my vehicle's tags have been expired since the end of the year. Since it's really Russ' vehicle I can't just go out and get them myself. For a while I've been pushing Russ to run out and get them done but he's been at home for the past few days "sick." Russ' 'need to to stay home sick' is alot different than what I consider it.
He'll stay home for something as small as a headache and his job is very forgiving because of his prior medical history. Well anyways, like I said, i've been trying to get him to go out and get them for a while.
Well I get up and head out to the gym, I'm almost to the exit I need to turn off the interstate onto, and a policeman just swoops right in. I swear I was on the lookout the whole drive and the one time I take my eyes off of what's behind me..he comes up the middle lane and swoops right in- lights a blazing.
Long story short, he let me off but let me know that in these cases the driver gets nailed and not the owner. *sigh* so when I got home last night I like literally pushed the registration in his hand and said I need this tomorrow please.
I didn't get to go to the gym this morning because I'm just scared of getting caught again and having a $150 ticket to pay.
Besides all that mess, yeterday was alright. Long long day at work.
Best part of my day was that I finally saw a hot guy in the locker room versus all those old fat guys I'm so used to seeing. Turned the corner into the room and there he was sitting on the left, shirtless, tight little body, beautiful nipples. He already had his pants on so I was dissapointed there. If I hadn't been pulled over I probably woulda made it into to see his whole dressing routine *cry*
Oh well, I was still honored to be in the presence of his beauty. : P
He'll stay home for something as small as a headache and his job is very forgiving because of his prior medical history. Well anyways, like I said, i've been trying to get him to go out and get them for a while.
Well I get up and head out to the gym, I'm almost to the exit I need to turn off the interstate onto, and a policeman just swoops right in. I swear I was on the lookout the whole drive and the one time I take my eyes off of what's behind me..he comes up the middle lane and swoops right in- lights a blazing.
Long story short, he let me off but let me know that in these cases the driver gets nailed and not the owner. *sigh* so when I got home last night I like literally pushed the registration in his hand and said I need this tomorrow please.
I didn't get to go to the gym this morning because I'm just scared of getting caught again and having a $150 ticket to pay.
Besides all that mess, yeterday was alright. Long long day at work.
Best part of my day was that I finally saw a hot guy in the locker room versus all those old fat guys I'm so used to seeing. Turned the corner into the room and there he was sitting on the left, shirtless, tight little body, beautiful nipples. He already had his pants on so I was dissapointed there. If I hadn't been pulled over I probably woulda made it into to see his whole dressing routine *cry*
Oh well, I was still honored to be in the presence of his beauty. : P
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
The Amazing Race 2 - Footrace to the Finish
Finished watching the second season of Amazing Race on GSN and although I was totally wanting Danny and Oswald to make it (they were eliminated at position 4, just shy of the top three), I was really pulling for Blake and Paige (the brother/sister duo) would pull through. But I am glad that Chris and Alex pulled the win over Will and Tera, he was just a jerk and undeserving. I do have to say I like the track jacket Will had... and Danny and Oswald will have their chance again thanks to the next season of Amazing Race: All-Star Edition!!
The Heart Is Deceitful Above All Things
Russ wanted to see this video since it was part of the Sprouse boys former repertoire before "The Suite Life of Zack and Cody". I knew it was going to be kinda morbid and dark (as many independent films seem to be), and I wasn't disappointed. But let me tell you I actually enjoyed the movie, couldn't take my eyes off of it for an instant. There wasn't much character development through it but I felt a connection to each and every person on the screen. It's not a movie that I would purchase for repeat watchings but if you don't mind a movie with a clearly depressing overtone, this is a good find.
Marilyn Manson also appears in the movie outside of his usual "stage presence" and pulls his guest spot quite well.
...and who are you?
Picture this. I'm at work yesterday and coming down our main strip in my retail store and there's this couple walking toward me. I don't really take too much notice of them... just that it's an average, everyday-sort, young mother pushing a stroller and then there's some guy that's trailing along behind them.
She comes by me and stops to ask where the clearance areas are (actually she said "sale items", but I hate that expression since I believe all the merchandise is 'for sale', and what she's looking for is clearance). I inform her where the areas are, and immediately as she's turning toward one of the areas I pointed out, the guy with her gives me this oddly hip-hoptastic fake look and turns into the shop behind her. Not sure what the look was supposed to mean, but I think it was to try to intimidate me for some odd unknown reason... like the obviously gay boi working in the Old Navy is gonna be silently hitting on your girl with a secret clearance code signal.
Here's where my thoughts churned. He's a tall, skinny, pasty-skinned white guy. Real gawky and plain, but boy was decked out in classic stereotypical hip-hop flair. Wide-brimmed cap turned sideways, oversized basketball jersey over an oversized tshirt, white shorts reaching to about mid-calf (in my world those are wide-legged capris), the classic expensive athletic shoes which have no validity in any fashion taste, and to beat it all the over-exaggerated mannerisms of the stereotypical hip-hop person.
Now it's not my place to judge anyone on who they are, but my issue is when people are struggling for an identity and it's not them. He had all the must-have basics down but he was obviously not. Why do people try their hardest to be something they're not? Maybe it's because of his plain-ness that he's trying to hide behind this persona...thinking that if he can find someone who likes the persona he's trying to pull off, his actually looks and demeanor won't matter...
But is it worth it to be this false persona?? I know that I would love to be able to pull off the goth look and persona, but I know that I could never pull it off. You have to work within yourself, your life and your experiences to become yourself. Not tv, movies, music or whatever means.
Now some people actually do find themselves through these means. One of my very close friends found himself through music, but the difference is he became secure with himself, and everyone around him was secure with who he was despite us being different. He picked up the sort of emo/rock look and has completely transformed from someone with no identity at all to someone you totally believe. He hasn't strayed from us, he has picked up an additional circle of friends, but I'm very happy with his progress. And what's more is that it FITS him. And this comes from years of going clubbing with the boi and him trying to take on the club-boy look, which was totally not him or his personality, and i'm glad he figured it out.
But with the people like the guy I mentioned above, have you ever been around someone you know is just trying their hardest to be someone they're not. This was so obvious to me. His mannerisms didn't fit him, his clothing didn't fit him (literally as well lol), and just the whole aura he was trying to pursue was so definitely not him. What was even more odd was that who I assumed was his wife/girlfriend/friend/whatever was very casually/everyday dressed (i.e. so obviously not like him). Maybe it was that fact that made him stick out like a sore thumb, but I don't think so.
What's your call?
She comes by me and stops to ask where the clearance areas are (actually she said "sale items", but I hate that expression since I believe all the merchandise is 'for sale', and what she's looking for is clearance). I inform her where the areas are, and immediately as she's turning toward one of the areas I pointed out, the guy with her gives me this oddly hip-hoptastic fake look and turns into the shop behind her. Not sure what the look was supposed to mean, but I think it was to try to intimidate me for some odd unknown reason... like the obviously gay boi working in the Old Navy is gonna be silently hitting on your girl with a secret clearance code signal.
Here's where my thoughts churned. He's a tall, skinny, pasty-skinned white guy. Real gawky and plain, but boy was decked out in classic stereotypical hip-hop flair. Wide-brimmed cap turned sideways, oversized basketball jersey over an oversized tshirt, white shorts reaching to about mid-calf (in my world those are wide-legged capris), the classic expensive athletic shoes which have no validity in any fashion taste, and to beat it all the over-exaggerated mannerisms of the stereotypical hip-hop person.
Now it's not my place to judge anyone on who they are, but my issue is when people are struggling for an identity and it's not them. He had all the must-have basics down but he was obviously not. Why do people try their hardest to be something they're not? Maybe it's because of his plain-ness that he's trying to hide behind this persona...thinking that if he can find someone who likes the persona he's trying to pull off, his actually looks and demeanor won't matter...
But is it worth it to be this false persona?? I know that I would love to be able to pull off the goth look and persona, but I know that I could never pull it off. You have to work within yourself, your life and your experiences to become yourself. Not tv, movies, music or whatever means.
Now some people actually do find themselves through these means. One of my very close friends found himself through music, but the difference is he became secure with himself, and everyone around him was secure with who he was despite us being different. He picked up the sort of emo/rock look and has completely transformed from someone with no identity at all to someone you totally believe. He hasn't strayed from us, he has picked up an additional circle of friends, but I'm very happy with his progress. And what's more is that it FITS him. And this comes from years of going clubbing with the boi and him trying to take on the club-boy look, which was totally not him or his personality, and i'm glad he figured it out.
But with the people like the guy I mentioned above, have you ever been around someone you know is just trying their hardest to be someone they're not. This was so obvious to me. His mannerisms didn't fit him, his clothing didn't fit him (literally as well lol), and just the whole aura he was trying to pursue was so definitely not him. What was even more odd was that who I assumed was his wife/girlfriend/friend/whatever was very casually/everyday dressed (i.e. so obviously not like him). Maybe it was that fact that made him stick out like a sore thumb, but I don't think so.
What's your call?
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